Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery, and life unto the bitter in soul; Which long for death, but it cometh not; and dig for it more than for hid treasures; Which rejoice exceedingly, and are glad, when they can find the grave?
That’s the thing about God: He allows us even these kinds of brutally honest questions, for He values honesty in our relationship with Him. Even these shameful emotions that Job was experiencing were not taboo in his conversation with the Lord. The brutal truth of Job’s soul was this intense pain that was too much to bear that made it seem like all hope was lost, that there was no comfort in sight. The reality of his present misery had turned his thoughts dark.
As humans, we are capable of dealing with a lot, but we all have a breaking point. We can all get to a place where despair overwhelms us and we have these same kinds of questions. We can wonder about the same brutally honest things that Job does—why we are alive if we don’t want to be when life seems too hard to bear. Some can even reach a place where they think death is the solution to whatever they are facing. In those moments of overwhelming grief, we can long for the peace we imagine death will bring.
But it is God who gives us life and who gives our lives purpose. And though extreme suffering can drag us down to these kinds of depths, our Lord of glory can raise us up again. It has to be the author of life who leads us out of these places and back to life again. Because no matter how deep into the darkness we ever get, we are always in the hands of our Maker. It may be hard to pull our own minds from these morbid thoughts, but God can sustain us through them and restore all that has been shattered within us.
Life on this earth is certainly not always easy. Some, like Job, experience things that bring them to the limits of what a human soul can bear. But let us not be afraid to bring even these kinds of emotions and thoughts before the Lord. We will find nothing else that can soothe our darkened minds like He can. He can help us to have a different perspective. He can shine the light back into our hearts. And His grace can surround and uphold us when we feel like all we can do is sink. So let us go to Him with even the darkest thoughts of our souls and find His grace sufficient for them.